Shipley & Swain, PLLCFindLaw IM Template2024-02-19T21:35:22Zhttps://www.shipleyswain.com/feed/atom/WordPress/wp-content/uploads/sites/1101116/2019/06/cropped-ID-32x32.jpgOn Behalf of Shipley & Swainhttps://www.shipleyswain.com/?p=493452024-02-19T21:35:22Z2024-02-19T21:35:22Zplanning this kind of vacation.
Consider the child’s needs and interests
Incorporating the children's needs and preferences into the planning ensures the vacation caters to their interests. This inclusive approach makes the trip more enjoyable for the younger travelers and fosters a sense of belonging and involvement. Preparing your children for the trip by discussing what they can expect can help them feel more secure about the trip.
Tips for smooth co-parenting vacation planning
Creating a detailed itinerary that encompasses all aspects of the trip, from flights and accommodations to daily activities, is essential for keeping both parents. These details provide peace of mind and a sense of participation for the parent who may not be traveling. Review your parenting plan to determine when travel is possible. Give yourself a time buffer so you don’t have to rush from picking up the kids to get on the road or hurrying to drop them off right away after returning from vacation.
Maintaining routines during the vacation
While on vacation, it's important to balance new experiences with maintaining familiar routines, especially for the children. Sticking to regular meal times, bedtimes and other established routines can provide stability and normalcy amidst the excitement of travel.
Staying in contact during the trip
Regular communication between the children and their non-traveling parent through video calls or photo updates allows the family to share experiences and maintain a connection. The contacts should be based on the child’s schedule and ideally agreed upon before the vacation.
Checking your parenting plan for any geographical restrictions or notification requirements regarding vacation is critical. Both parents must uphold the terms of this plan, so fully understanding them is important. Should any disagreements arise, seeking legal guidance is always an option.]]>On Behalf of Shipley & Swainhttps://www.shipleyswain.com/?p=493362023-11-18T03:15:11Z2023-11-18T03:15:11ZMaking peace with family circumstances
The decision to make a change can sometimes take some of the challenge out of radical acceptance. Those who know they will never have to spend a holiday with their frustrating in-laws or thoughtless spouse again may have an easier time setting aside petty frustrations during their last holiday season while married because the end is in sight. Some people may benefit from talking with a counselor about their circumstances to learn tools that can help them manage the stress of the holidays without their frustrations boiling over and affecting others.
Looking for clarity or a sign of hope
Many people contemplating divorce would love a reason to continue their marriages. Sometimes, the holidays bring out the best in a spouse who hasn't shown up for the relationship in some time. People can go above and beyond during the holidays in a way that helps to repair a damaged relationship and gives their spouses hope for working through their issues.
For others, thoughtless presents or an obligation to manage the entire process of planning a holiday celebration without support will simply reinforce their decision that divorce is the best choice in their situation. They may try to keep an eye on their long-term happiness during the holiday season instead of letting short-term stressors undermine their chances of obtaining the best outcome in their divorce.
Putting the children first
Divorce can often stress parents financially, meaning the holidays will be more frugal during and immediately after a divorce. Many parents will take the focus off of their struggling marriage and will instead do their best to cultivate as much joy and excitement for their children as possible. Those who focus on their children often find it much easier to ignore the bad conduct of a spouse or specific extended family members.
Recognizing that the holidays can be particularly challenging for someone anticipating a divorce in the near future may help people proactively manage the waiting period between when they decide to file and when they will actually take action to end their marriage.]]>On Behalf of Shipley & Swainhttps://www.shipleyswain.com/?p=491242023-08-18T02:52:23Z2023-08-18T02:52:23ZThe courts do not mandate college support
The unfortunate reality for those with college-bound teenagers is that the Tennessee family courts do not recognize a parental obligation after the child reaches the age of 18 or graduates from high school. Any additional support provided after that point is entirely voluntary. Even when parents know that their children will attend college, they will not be able to ask the courts to extend child support orders through someone's college years. The children will need to report the income of both parents on forms determining their eligibility for financial aid, but there is no promise that both parents will contribute to their support during college.
However, parents can acknowledge and plan for college financial expenses when negotiating the terms of a divorce or separation. Parents can reach a mutual agreement dividing college expenses and helping ensure that both parents will provide support for tuition, housing and other necessary costs associated with someone's college degree.
Ideally, parents will be able to work with each other and put the needs of the children and their family first when discussing financial obligations and a child's educational future. Learning more about the rules that apply to child support and parental responsibility may help those preparing for negotiations with the other parent of their children to craft a particularly informed and effective approach.
]]>On Behalf of Shipley & Swainhttps://www.shipleyswain.com/?p=491222023-05-16T13:33:28Z2023-05-16T13:33:28ZHe cooperates with the mother
The fastest and easiest way to establish paternity involves working with the mother of the child. When both parents readily acknowledge the father's role in the family, they can fill out a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity. The document can quickly and easily add the father's name to the birth certificate. Some parents are able to take this step at the hospital right after a child's delivery, but fathers can theoretically ask the mother to acknowledge their paternity at any point while the child is still a minor.
He asks the courts for help
The Tennessee family courts have an interest in establishing a child's parentage and will assist a father in proving and then maintaining his relationship with a minor child. If the mother does not acknowledge the father and will not fill out voluntary paperwork with him, he can request a paternity hearing by asserting that he has reason to believe he is the child's biological father.
The courts can then request genetic testing to confirm or disprove the father's claim of paternity. If the test affirms that he is very likely the child's biological father, then he will be in a position to start actively using his parental rights, including the right to shared custody and a say in the child's upbringing.
Seeking legal guidance to better understand what Tennessee requires from fathers who want shared custody can help men advocate for their role in the lives of their children.]]>On Behalf of Shipley & Swainhttps://www.shipleyswain.com/?p=491202023-02-28T14:01:39Z2023-02-28T14:01:39Z1. They want custody rights
Technically, Tennessee does sometimes grant visitation access to a stepparent who divorces their spouse. However, if someone wants a say in a child's upbringing and full shared custody, stepparent adoption is the best way of ensuring they have a right to claim parenting time and parental responsibility if they divorce.
2. They worry about their spouse's health
A stepparent may have been part of a child's life since before they ever entered the world. They may have cared for a pregnant parent and later married that individual, and their employment, emotional support and presence have been an ongoing source of support for the child in the family their entire life.
However, if the biological parent of the child were to die, the stepparent would technically not have rights, especially if the other biological parent is still alive. The best way to ensure the stepparent can retain custody when the biological parent dies is often a stepparent adoption.
3. They want to give the child more security
Only having one parent who is consistently present can be a hardship for a child. Even if they occasionally see or know about their other parent, going through life with only one parent leaves them one accident away from being totally alone.
A stepparent adoption lets a child know that there is another adult who will assume responsibility for them and support them no matter what. It can also serve as a means by which a stepparent can confirm to a child that they are valued part of a family, not merely an afterthought. Recognizing the numerous benefits derived from stepparent adoption can inspire some people to begin this complicated but often worthwhile process.]]>On Behalf of Shipley & Swainhttps://www.shipleyswain.com/?p=491172022-11-16T22:42:44Z2022-11-16T22:42:44ZThat account isn't your separate property
Although it may feel like a comfort to have resources in your name as you contemplate the end of your marriage, the unfortunate truth is that your new bank account or hidden cash of cash is actually marital property. Technically, you don't need to tell your spouse about it until you file, but you will have to disclose the value of any assets you saved to prepare for divorce.
The courts will expect you to honestly share the exact amount that you set aside or deposited and potentially split it with your spouse in the divorce. Failing to disclose information about your financial practices could lead to accusations of hidden property and could result in judges taking punitive measures against you when dividing your other assets.
The best advice comes from those who know the law
Everyone thinks they know what you should do when you contemplate divorce, but most of those people have never been through a divorce, and those who have may have divorced in another state with different statutes.
To avoid making mistakes that could hurt your chances of the outcome you want in your divorce, you should only take advice from a lawyer familiar with Tennessee divorce statutes. The well-meaning advice provided by your loved ones could actually do more harm than good. Getting the right support as you contemplate filing for divorce will help you handle the process with dignity.]]>On Behalf of Shipley & Swainhttps://www.shipleyswain.com/?p=491152022-08-17T21:47:06Z2022-08-17T21:47:06Zespecially in August – and one of the major reasons for it is simply that the parents were waiting until the school year began to move forward with the divorce.
What are the reasons to wait?
The reasons to wait are many, starting with the fact that summer can simply be chaotic. If you have trips planned and a lot of other activities, there may not be a good time to start talking about divorce. Some people put it off so that they can get through all of this activity – with the kids – and get divorced when life has settled down a little bit.
Additionally, some parents don’t want to discuss the divorce with their children around. Waiting until they’re back in school gives the parents more time to talk as adults about the subjects that may be a bit too advanced for their children. They can then involve the children once they know the divorce is definitely going to happen.
Finally, many parents are conscious of the upcoming fall and winter holidays. They want to get divorced at the beginning of the school year so that the process is over by the holidays. Those who wait until later in the fall may find themselves facing Thanksgiving and Christmas, and divorce rates tend to drop because parents don’t want to do it during the holidays. The rates will then spike again in January, once the holidays are over.
Are you getting divorced?
If you and your spouse are going to be splitting up this year, be sure you know what legal options you have. This is especially important when you have young children and you need to make decisions about custody time, child support and the like.]]>On Behalf of Shipley & Swainhttps://www.shipleyswain.com/?p=491092022-05-12T18:06:58Z2022-05-12T18:06:58ZCan a child's opinion impact custody disputes?
If you recently been through a rocky time in the relationship with your child or if you know that your child feels uncomfortable around your ex ever since hitting puberty, you may wonder if your child's preference will have any bearing on custody litigation in Tennessee.
If you and your ex cannot reach custody arrangement on your own before your day in court for a judge to review and approve, then the judge will set the terms for shared custody arrangements. Will a judge seek input from the children, and at what age will the preference of your children influence a custody decision?
Tennessee law leaves much to the discretion of the judge
The judge presiding over contested custody matters has to talk to everyone involved and try to understand the family's home life and interpersonal relationships. The main focus of this process is to allow the judge to create a custody order that will do what is best for the children.
Sometimes, a judge will consider the opinions of the children. However, it is unlikely in all but the most extreme cases that a child can actually choose where they live. Instead, a judge might consider the statements made by a child in addition to other important factors.
To consider their opinion, a judge will have to determine your child is mature enough to make a sound decision for their own best interests. The expressed preferences can influence how how much weight a judge gives the child's request when finalizing a custody order.
Familiarizing yourself with the rules that govern Tennessee custody proceedings will make it easier for you to protect the relationship with your children.]]>On Behalf of Shipley & Swainhttps://www.shipleyswain.com/?p=490972022-02-16T20:52:04Z2022-02-16T20:52:04ZWhen there have been substantial changes
If your children recently started a new school, got a part-time job or joined a team, they will have a lot of demands on their time that could affect your access to them. Similarly, if you move to a new house or start a new job, your availability for the children will change. Under Tennessee law, significant changes to household circumstances can justify a modification request.
When constant adjustments lead to arguments
You and your ex can make changes to your plans when new family circumstances strain your custody arrangements. However, the more frequently you have to change plans at the last minute, the more likely those changes are to strain your relationship with your ex.
Rather than continuing to adjust things on the fly every few days, it may be time to formally modify the plan to better reflect your family's needs.
When either parent isn't fulfilling their obligations
It is sad to acknowledge that some parents struggle with their shared responsibilities after a divorce. Maybe your ex doesn't have a safe place to live, or maybe they have started abusing alcohol and neglecting your children.
If you believe your ex acts in an unsafe manner around your children, you can actually go back to court and ask the judge to change your arrangements to better protect your children. Even if your ex doesn't agree to the changes, the modification can still move forward if a judge believes the changes are in the best interests of the children.
Recognizing when you need to update your custody arrangements can help you better support your children after a break-up or divorce.]]>On Behalf of Shipley & Swainhttps://www.shipleyswain.com/?p=490872021-11-15T21:06:13Z2021-11-15T21:06:13ZTennessee law requires fair property division, not necessarily an even split
When people talk about a 50/50 division of assets, they likely refer to community property rules. In some states, the presumption at the time of divorce is that a couple should stay their marital assets equally as community property. However, Tennessee is not a community property state.
When a couple divorces in Tennessee, a judge has to consider many different matters to come up with an equitable or just solution to dividing their assets and debts. Any property or income from during the marriage could be at risk of division under equitable distribution rules in a divorce. Separate property that someone inherited or already owned at the time of marriage will often not be subject to division in a Tennessee divorce.
You don't have to let equitable distribution determine what happens with your assets
Understanding state law is a good starting place when considering divorce, but you don't have to let a judge make decisions about how you split your property. You and your ex always have the option of negotiating your own settlement outside of court.
You might be able to reach an agreement directly or could require support, like mediation services. If you reach a mutually beneficial and agreeable settlement, the two of you can set any terms that you both agree are reasonable and appropriate. Although a judge will still have to approve the settlement, the two of you still retain control over what ultimately happens with your property.
When do you understand the rules for property division in a Tennessee divorce, it will be easier for you to think rationally about your marriage and your future.]]>